Thoughts

The art of letting go

How to let go? Well, that’s a hard nut to crack. I will do my best to answer this question, basing on some story. The story includes a Teletubby, handsome waiter and terrified, lost child (= me, of course).

About 15 years ago I went for a holiday to Spain with my family. I was about five years old and I had my favourite toy with me – green Teletubby, Dipsy. I was carrying her with me the whole stay.

That stupid toy was significant to me. No wonder that I cried a lot when I accidentally lost it somewhere in the hotel. Few days past and it seemed that I’ve forgotten about Dipsy and moved on with my life… But no. I had an amazing idea to play a game called “Find Dipsy” and I started to look for her, hoping that maybe, somehow, she’s hidden somewhere. Once I  even put my head under the billiard table but Dipsy wasn’t there… As well as my parents when stood up.

Houston, we have a problem…

So what could I do as five years old girl? I got panicked, made some people take care of me and I cried in handsome waiter’s sleeve. He – obviously – was stressed as hell and he was trying to find my (also stressed) parents. In a nutshell: one toy, many problems.

After our come back to Poland, I got another Teletubby. I don’t even remember whether it was Dipsy or Lala but I do remember that “newbie” didn’t have the mini tv on his stomach so I never loved it as much as I loved Dipsy.

Unfourtenetley.

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You might think that this comparison is stupid (and probably you’re right) but I guess everyone had that kind of Teletubby in their life. Something which they were holding so tight, trying not to let it go. For some reason.

When I was a teenager, I spent a lot of time on websites ala’ Tumblr where I could find a lot of wise  quotes written in the black&white photo of a sad girl. One of them was “You should fight for everything till the very end”, which IMHO is bullshit. Why? Well, it’s not always compatible with reality and, what is more, can cause a lot of problems.

I don’t really think that we should “fight for everything till the very end” because some things are just lost and trying to win them is simply a waste of time. Because of that reason, I think that the art of letting go is one of the hardest things to do. Sometimes it’s not so easy to know the difference between “I don’t want to, I just give up” and “I’ve done everything I could”.

So, I guess everyone had their own “Teletubby”

Foolish guys chasing after a wrong woman, who plays with their feelings.

Women who are stalking their ex’s profiles, checking if they haven’t posted a new photo with a pretty girl.

People who stuck in a terrible job for years, hoping that it’ll get better just like that.

Those in toxic friendships.

And many more…

The hardest moment is, I guess, the one when you finally realise that this pointless fight is… Well, pointless.

You know, realising the fact that another person is not interested, that you’re only a second option and that wallet, which someone stole from you, won’t magically appear under your doormat. Realising that something you were fighting for won’t be yours. Ever.

Damn, that was dramatic.

Sometimes I always forget how to let go. I’d lie if I say that it’s easy for me. On the contrary – I have a lot of problems with letting things go. For me, it’s also hard to accept the fact that sometimes it won’t be a final goodbye. Someone will just go, like that, and you will never know what was the reason. You won’t hear “I’m sorry”, you won’t hear an explanation. You can miss the occasion, the feeling can change, some chapter will end and that’s it, end of story. Every show must end – sometimes for one person, it’s just earlier than for another, unfortunately.

But you know what? Indeed, the feeling when you realise that your actions were pointless is shitty but the moment when you finally, truly let go is the most amazing feeling ever. It’s like you’ve been walking with fifteen pounds backpack for hours and you can finally take it off your back.

What a fucking relief!

You’re no longer”accidentally” going to a place when you can meet your crush who didn’t like you back. You don’t think of him anymore. If so, only wishing him luck with another girl.

Summer in Italy was an amazing adventure but it’s time to forget about that easiness and come back to reality. Go for a beer with John and believe that next summer will be even better.

Broken heart and end of a relationship? It doesn’t hurt anymore, you can give a chance to someone else.

It’s time to look for a new job, new friends, new apartment.

Time to accept your loss.

Memories and emotions are beautiful only when they’re not stopping you from moving forward.

So… How to let go?

Who knows this lovely coffee shop in Cracow where you get a quote with every coffee that you order? <3

 

 

As someone who has a master level in overthinking, I can honestly say that there’s no better solution that to take care of yourself. But something really significant, not just meaningless things which can help you only for a short amount of time. It’s a perfect time for a new hobby, meeting new people and finally thinking about what’s best for you. You kinda don’t even have a choice unless you want to freak out with your own thoughts and sadness so… Maybe it’s about time to make a good thing from a tragedy? ; )

PS: Be careful with things such as crocheting, it gives a lot of time to overthink ; p

About

A journalism student who's in love with travelling. Heart in Spain. Survived an attack of angry cows.

A journalism student who's in love with travelling. Heart in Spain. Survived an attack of angry cows.

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