I guess it must be very frustrating when the girl of your dreams chooses an exotic foreigner instead of you, a nice guy from her neighbourhood. Have you ever wondered why it happens? I mean, why – in this case – Polish girls fall for foreigners? In my opinion, in four out of five cases, Polish guys can’t do much about it. This can be both good and bad news.
I used to live abroad and thanks to that I’ve met many people from all over the world. Also in Poland, I participated in activities where I could make even more international friendships. That gives me a wide perspective on this topic. I’m aware that the question “Why Polish girls fall for foreigners” bothers a lot of men. As I have plenty of female friends who are (or were) in that kind of relationships, I will do my best to help you understand some stuff.
There is an episode of „How I Met Your Mother” where Ted couldn’t stand the idea of Enrique Iglesias dating his ex-girlfriend, Robin. Meanwhile, Barney was wondering why all the girls (and Marshall) falls for this foreigner. So later on, both Barney and Ted were pretending to be tourists to pick up girls.
Why all those girls were into Iglesias? I mean, despite the fact that he’s just Enrique Iglesias… Well, the answer is quite obvious: he was exotic for them. Normally, we are attracted to something new and unknown… And I don’t only mean that Latino or Asian type, which is quite different than typical Slavic. Surely, many Polish girls like that kind of appearance but it’s not all about that. Different language, culture, traditions –that seems to be interesting, maybe even mysterious. And of course, it’s not something typical only for Polish girls. It’s typical for many of us. Simply: what is exotic, at the same time is interesting. The good thing is that you can also be an exotic foreigner for someone. : )
I assume that there might be two types of women who are into foreigners. The first type is a woman who is rather not very familiar with other cultures. Just imagine a shy girl, from a small town, full of insecurities, who thinks that her life isn’t interesting at all. For her, Tinder match with handsome Italian is like discovering a gold bar. Even if that relationship won’t take last – which happens quite often – for that girl, this is still an enjoyable adventure. Maybe just one, special date, maybe a longer romance, maybe something more or maybe just a drunk walk after getting out of “Teatro Cubano”. It’s not my life, so I don’t judge. Maybe you’re gonna roll your eyes when she will come with tears in her eyes because you “knew it’s gonna end up like this!”. Maybe she will be heartbroken, maybe not… Nevertheless, she will still have the memory of unknown adventure. I’m trying to understand this. There are, I bet, many girls who are dreaming about travelling, meeting people… And even if for that girl it’s just the matter of one date with Tinder Jacob, I don’t care. If it helps her to feel like a character from a romantic comedy with Hugh Grunt, then why not?
What are the chances of Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton being best friends in 2019? I’d assume that there aren’t any.
So now imagine a girl from a small town who would rather not move anywhere because she just prefers to stay at home, close to her family. Likely to happen that she might also meet a love of her life in this exact place. But a woman who meets a lot of foreigners probably might fall in love with one of them as well.
That’s my second type. The lifestyle of that kind of woman is just like that – meeting people from abroad, maybe teaching languages, working in an international company, helping foreigners or simply living abroad. A lot of possibilities of meeting someone special. There’s not much I can say here, that’s just how things work.
4. Life just happens
Believe it or not, but when I asked my friends if they could be in a relationship with a foreigner, their opinions were slightly different. Some of them said that they can’t imagine this, due to many reasons: the language, different countries, different cultures… Or they said that they wouldn’t be with someone of a different religion. Or even more – they wouldn’t be with someone of ANY religion. Others agreed that they would prefer to marry a foreigner rather than someone from their country. Just like that.
But most of them couldn’t give me a specific answer. I didn’t hear a “hell yes!” or “hell no!” because simply, you can’t plan everything. Sure, everyone has their own rules. Some woman won’t date a guy shorter than her (sorry, gentlemen. Just remember that I’m 155 cm and I don’t care about it :D) and some men won’t date a girl who weighs twice as much as he. Some people won’t accept that their partner is smoking, someone won’t accept a different religion. But that’s just a theory. I can convince myself that I will never marry, let’s say, a Spanish guy, but what can I know?
My point is that most of the polish women don’t think in the categories “I want only a Polish/German/Italian… guy”. For most of us, it’s always a “maybe”. For example, maybe I will move to Szczecin or Chile, maybe I will fall in love with a Polish guy or maybe not. Despite all the ideal types of our future partner that we might have in our head, we don’t know how it will be. A woman might think that she won’t fall in love with a foreigner but maybe one day she will meet him in the underground, show him Warsaw (because we have underground only in Warsaw hehe) and well…
5. Polish girls don’t love foreigners. Foreigners love Polish girls
That’s the only thing on my list when Polish guys can actually do something. Honestly, this one is quite sad for me because almost all my friends – who have experience with dating a foreigner – agree with one thing. Namely, that in Poland they feel… Less attractive.
Once I’ve seen an article written by some blogger. He said: “You’re not as pretty and as intelligent as you think you are”. I disagree. You know how many polish girls have I met who had many insecurities? Plenty. And how many did I meet who thought that they were better than others? Maybe a few.
We have a huge problem in our society with people who are constantly feeling not good enough.
Same girl, different perspectives
I remember how shocked I was when a guy told my friend that maybe she “should lose some weight”. They weren’t even that close. She just sent him a photo from holidays, not asking about an opinion.
Once I heard how men on the beach are commenting on their friends’ bodies, as soon as they left to the toilet. For these men, their friends were “whales”.
Just look in the comments section anywhere.
So what to do?
I know that you don’t like it. Perhaps you think that you’re not like that and I believe you. Things that I’m saying here are obviously stereotypical, generally speaking. Stereotypes can hurts, true. Although, they have a reason. I bet that many people would think „She was cheated on by a Spanish guy? What a surprise…”, „She left to Sweden so she shouldn’t be surprised now”. I’m not even starting the conversation about a situation when a woman is left by a Muslim because we all know the answer 😛
Seriously – why do you care who is some girl dating? You can think that she will regret it and perhaps you will be right. I can think that if I were her, I wouldn’t do it but well… I’m not her. And despite our beliefs, we should respect anyone who is not hurting others.
In the end, I will just say that it’s not exotic or „wanting an adventure” that decides about your attractiveness. I don’t really care about it. What kills you attractiveness is, for example, speaking badly about a woman just because she decided to date someone from abroad. What kills attractiveness is hatred, disability to make a normal discussion, lack of tolerance to others and their choices. Gentlemen don’t do it.
Nowadays, we say women that they don’t need someone (a man) who doesn’t need them. I believe that also men don’t need those women who don’t want them. Without speaking badly about someone, maybe it is worth to turn back and find someone who will want you and only you, no matter what. You can do something about it.